Hope Not Fear - the new book

I recently received a copy of Hope Not Fear by Edgar M. Bronfman and Beth Zasloff. The first thing that struck me in reading it was that here is a wealthy man with extensive access to probably anyone he wanted to interview and yet he did not speak to a single individual who is currently working in outreach to interfaith couples. He spoke to people who do a lot of talking about it, to people who do outreach that happens to include interfaith couples, but no one who does this for a living. The closest he came was Dru Greenwood who used to run the Union for Reform Judaism's Outreach Department. But Dru has been gone several years.

What this tells me is that Professional Interfaith Outreach is so far under the radar that even Bronfman couldn't find it.

What does this mean?

First I think it reflects the community's continued ambivalence towards the entire issue of interfaith marriage. We are afraid that any effort might give permission to intermarry. So we don’t fund ongoing, strong programs. Thus no programs emerge onto the general community landscape and consciousness. How many programs have we seen open and close?

In this environment very few professionals continue to work in the field for more than five years. Therefore, no experience is developed, no institutional memory is sustained. Programs are constantly run by novices. I could count on my two hands the professionals that have done this work continuously for more than 10 years.

If you were going in for surgery would you want a doctor who was making it up as he/she went along or would you prefer someone who had actually done your procedure hundreds of times on hundreds of different people?

Until we transcend fear and begin to believe that we as a community will survive, we will continue to have programs that rotate in and out of existence with staff that lack experience sufficient to address the needs and challenges of this growing population.

September Think Tank

In just a few days a group of the long-time professionals in Interfaith Outreach will gather. Our purpose is to develop a foundational understanding of interfaith marriage by looking at all the research to date. We will compare it to our own on-the-ground experience. By combining a study component with Dr. Bruce Phillips and our own first hand knowledge, we plan to work together to draw up a proposal for communities to use as they create outreach programming in their own towns, shuls, JCCs, and agencies.

We are so looking forward to this invigorating experience! So rarely do we have the opportunity to be together and share at this level.

We have been blessed to be supported financially by the Charles and Lynn Schusterman Fund and the Walter and Elise Haas Fund.

Stay tuned as we move forward.

Jewish Networking

There is a terrific book, Jewish Networking, by Hayim Herring and Barry Shrage published in 2001. In it the authors envision a Jewish community in which a newcomer, or anyone deciding to look for Jewish engagement for the first time, can find their way. The idea is that all the Jewish pieces of the community - JCCs, synagogues, Hebrew schools, day schools, etc. would be interconnected, would be aware of each others programs and services. Thus, no matter who the newcomer first called it didn't matter; they would be gently interviewed and integrated into the appropriate Jewish "home."

We should all be working towards this ideal. Go read this book!

We here in the San Francisco bay area are in the process of formalizing our outreach to interfaith network. For years now the tiny group of professionals have been meeting informally. We have made it a point to know what each other are doing, to collaborate and share. Rosanne Levitt and I began this ten years ago and we were fortunate that our meetings gradually grew to five core members. We include anyone doing outreach in their organization.

Find yourself companions in this work.

Lashon HaRa or Doing Outreach in the Trick or Treat Community

If we want to do outreach in our Jewish communities we have to change the entire climate internally to the communities. So long as we are gossiping/putting down any part of the community we give a negative message to the individual or family considering participating in said community.

Imagine you are taking your child Trick or Treating in the neighborhood where you’re thinking of buying a new home. You walk up to a nice looking home and knock at the door. The resident opens the door and smiles. She smiles, chats and offers your child a treat. Then she leans forward and confides, “Thank goodness you came to my house. The house to my left is a crack house, the one to my right reeks of the 87 cats that live there. And across the street, the man living there beats his wife and kids. But don’t worry, just always come to my house and you’ll be fine.”

How much do you want to buy a house in that neighborhood now? When we speak disparagingly of other Jews and other synagogues and other parts of the community we give the message that Jewish community (the Jewish neighborhood) is a negative, unkind place. Why would you want to live with these people?

When we can articulate the differences that enrich our Jewish community – the Orthodox shul, the rabbi at the synagogue across town, the minyan that meets in the city community center, the down in the heels kosher grocer, the uptown Majong club, the LGBT movie club – we become interesting, intriguing, embracing.

Role model for all your agencies, synagogues and leaders what you want from them, flexibility, confidence, delight in diversity.

Try to find a place in your heart for each of the elements of your/our community and you will show the new comer a taste of what they can expect: acceptance.

Community Collaboration using A Taste of Judaism

In 2003 I started using the Union for Reform movement's Taste of Judaism 3-session workshop as a community-wide teaching and outreach tool. The core concepts presented are God, Torah, and Israel. I spoke to Kathy Kahn at URJ about offering it throughout the movements and she was, as always, extremely supportive and enthusiastic.

My two modern Orthodox rabbis asked me the question: Will you tell us how to teach?

My answer was NO. Any rabbi can teach this class. It will be informed by their movement. The students love learning from excited and engaged teachers. All my rabbis are sensitive to the fact that they are teaching on behalf of ALL Judaism and when asked about the different streams of Judaism answer thoughtfully.

I serve as the central organizer. I move the class around the congregations and cities. Everyone gets a turn. I do the publicity, intake, and registration. I also administer an evaluation and follow up process.

Since Project Welcome has evolved in San Francisco, just across the bay from me, Karen Kushner the director of PW has also been offering this service of central administration of Taste of Judaism. We have been pooling our resources, sending students back and forth across the bay according to their home city.

It has been a wonderful way to bring the entire community together to offer a fun, short, stimulating entrypoint class. Participants are curious about --what does a synagogue look like inside, what does a mehitzah look like, a Torah scroll? Are these cookies you're giving us Kosher? How can you tell? Can I come here for services? Who could I sit with?

I have integrated this program into my general program offerings and it has been a good way to bridge people into a wide array of opportunities.

A Metaphor for Jewish Community

Some months ago I was in a meeting where we were discussing the metaphors for Jewish Community. The one you commonly hear is the image of the bull's eye with the most connected or affiliated at the center. Emanating out from that are the layers of Jews as less and less engaged. I believe many of us find that inaccurate and not useful.

Additionally, we in Outreach often discuss the individual organizations in Jewish community in terms of their "welcoming" or "openness." We judge them by how relaxed their observance of Halacha is. So the fewer conditions on the potential participant, the more welcoming they are said to be. I find this image to also be inaccurate and not useful.

I have a couple of ideas -

Looking at the Welcoming definition
I like to think of Jewish community as a living organism. Each organization within the community (synagogue, JCC, agency) is like a cell. Every cell has a membrane. In order to live the cell must take things in and pass things out. If the membrane becomes non-porous, the cell dies. If the membrane is broken, the cell dies. So each entity must decide on it's own boundary (membrane) and sustain it. Additionally, all those cells make up different and necessary body parts. Each has its own function. All are interdependent for the life of the body.

This approach has made it easy for me to work with different movements and agencies. I'm comfortable with whatever they decide is their boundary -- whether it would be mine personally is irrelevant. In choosing their own boundary and function they sustain the whole. This also means that an Orthodox or Conservative Jew who has married a non-Jew can find acceptance in my program. I have not judged their way of life to be "unwelcoming." Additionally I believe it broadens all my couples when they are asked to be accepting of multiple life choices, not just ones that match their own.

Looking at the "Engagement" Level
(These numbers are based on the 2004 San Francisco Jewish Population Study done by Bruce Phillips.)
Rather than the bull's eye model, think of the students in a college class. The students represent the entire Jewish population. A portion of those Jews we consider to be most engaged. They are members of synagogues or JCC or they give to Jewish organizations - but they connect with a formal Jewish organization in an ongoing way. In the SF study 28% of the community was in this group. These are the most knowledgeable students, they come to class, do their homework, participate in class discussions and are probably majoring in this subject.

Also in the population are the Jews that say, "Don't call me, don't even call me Jewish. I want nothing to do with Judaism." In the study they are 8%. These students don’t come to class at all. They don’t like this subject and are likely to be inquiring about how to drop the class.

Another portion of the population say they "do Jewish" at home, they aren't interested in the broader Jewish community. They represent 20%. These students don’t come to class, they look up the assignments online and email in their work to the professor. They might be interested someday, but not right now.

This leaves 44% that I call Threshold Crossers. They go to Film Festivals, book discussions, holiday celebrations, services, etc. at JCCs, synagogues, and other Jewish venues but they don't join. These students come to class, they occasionally participate in class discussions, and they turn in the homework. They moderately interested in the subject being taught.

We the Outreach workers are the professor of this class. We can’t reach the students who are already dropping the class. We may be able to email the students that stay home. But our greatest portion of our students shows up, does the work but just isn’t yet enthralled with the topic. It is our job to try to interest and engage this group, the largest group, the group that shows up. Can we stimulate them, surprise them, fascinate them? I think we can.

In terms of successful outreach programs that invite those who are potentially interested in Jewish community, I believe it is the Threshold Crossers that are the easiest to reach. They show up at our Jewish buildings and they represent the LARGEST segment of the population! It doesn't take a lot of Public Space events to get them because they are coming to us. At 44% they are the majority of Jews in my community. I do need to publicize events in the secular venues because our community is not so obvious as Jewish community is in New York or Los Angeles. I do have to be findable. If I want continued engagement, I have to provide value -- a reason for these folks to sign up for more events, information, whatever. I am aware that things may be quite different in your community.

Our shared concerns for discussion:

* creating a metaphor for Jewish community
* what are the Jews that make up your community like
* usefulness of Public Space events in your area
* successful approaches to marketing & getting the word out